THE RISK-TAKER

August 20, 2012

This week was a better week for me.  I had a couple of rough mornings and slightly restless nights, but overall it was pretty good.  As much as I didn’t really want to, I think the best way to get over someone you love is to cut the communication completely off… I tried to keep it going… I think because in my mind I was still hanging on to that string of hope… However, my heart felt like it was breaking over and over again the more I hung on… I needed an abrupt confirmation to let go, “Just do you!” was it… 

 

And so it begins… an unexpected, difficult, but purposeful fresh start.

 

I’ve been trying to focus a lot on me… what I stand for… what do I have to offer in regards to my brand.  Since I began acting again I feel like I’ve found a part of me that I allowed to get lost for so long.  On top of that, through the reinvention of my site, I’ve learned that I am not just an actress, writer, author and poet.  I am a creator.  I love to create things and see them come into fruition.

 

Recently, the writer of “Complicated Melody”, the stage play I was in earlier this year approached me with the opportunity to help him turn the play into a web series.  Wanting to focus primarily on acting and fear of incompletion, I initially declined the offer. However, one Sunday morning I started reflecting on ALL of my accomplishments.  I started thinking about what I DO have and want I DO know, instead of what I don’t have and what I don’t know.  “You never know if you can, until you try… Try again…” I thought in my attempt to encourage myself.  I took on the role of a director for the first time, in a long time… It feels great!  I’m looking forward to acting in the series as well.

 

Negative thoughts have a tendency to creep up… magnifying the disappointments in my personal life and transferring those feelings of failure to all other areas of my life… Not to mention being turned down over and over and over again for jobs… and watching my bank account get lower and lower and lower… It’s frustrating and discouraging... 

 

But, with success in love and life comes taking risks, failing and trying again…

 

And so it begins… an unexpected, difficult, but purposeful fresh start.

 

Here I go!

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