At nine and ten years old, I used to do interpretive dances as my sister sang to gospel instrumentals in the basement studio. At twelve years old, I learned how to do the Butterfly and the Tootsie Roll. I made up dances to songs like, “Here, Kitty, Kitty”, “Freak Like Me” and Nasty Dancer.” At fourteen years old, I started going to clubs by myself and I became that nasty dancer. The only thing that was stopping me from actually dancing for money was my age. At nineteen years old, my freshman year of college, I clearly heard the voice of God for the first time while in a night club. “What are you doing here?” God asked. At twenty years old, I rededicated my life to Christ and felt the awesome presence of the Lord for the first time… while dancing in the 11:00 service at Word of Faith Family Worship Center.
Anyone who knows me well, knows I LOVE to dance. I’m not a dancer, but dancing has always taken me to a place outside of myself. Whether I was the quiet girl enjoying the control I had over a guy’s mind when we danced (or grinded)… Or… the broken girl that gave God control over my mind when I danced for Him. Like nothing before, worship through dance launched my relationship with Christ into a whole new direction.
Since 2003 when I rededicated my life to Christ, I haven’t always dotted every “I” or crossed every “T”. I haven’t always done the things that a good “Christian Girl” should probably do. I can't give myself an "A' for obedience. I've struggled with passing some tests and in some cases poured every bit of effort I had into doing the right thing... while still in other cases, I'd give myself an Incomplete... for not even trying.
It's now been eight years since my new life began. Through those maturing years I have learned that the cause and effect of not putting God first and putting God first, prove to be the same. When I faithfully read and study my Word, seek His face and His will... God’s presence overwhelms my heart with peace, joy and vision! But, when I become too busy for His Word and I start entertaining other desires instead of Him… My flesh starts getting hungry for cravings that only sin can fill. The result; a guilty heart, untamed emotions and a loss of purpose and direction.
My prayer is that God opens the eyes of my heart so I can see Him in all that I do. I pray that if He places me in someone’s life, I become a light to them and not a distraction. That my faults don’t steer them away, but my love for the Almighty God and my desire to please Him speaks volumes. I pray that I began to love what God loves… and to hate what He hates. I understand that the only church that some people will ever see is me. I admit that I am not perfect and I need God’s strength to be made perfect in my weaknesses. He is holy and worthy to be praised. Without His grace and mercy... only He knows where I would be right now…